Category Archives: psychology

New Year’s Resolutions (past tense already?)

Well, it’s not quite the Feast of Epiphany…and a lot of New Year’s resolutions have come and gone. If you have “failed” in some way, you can always start over. To kick off a series on making the new year better, here are some thoughts:

  1. Why do so many people set goals like punitive parents, taking away privileges or pleasures, instead of setting goals of doing something? When you make a goal of dietary changes, why do you have to be a mean parent, taking away your own cheesy poofs, instead of a helpful coach, suggesting you have a serving of fresh fruit or vegetable once a day?
  2. Do you have an old goal – an old hope, or change – that you have postponed making? You keep postponing a particular trip? Never get around to playing the guitar again? A change in hairstyle that’s long overdue (yes, if you had your hair that way in the senior picture, it’s too long overdue if you’re out of college), or some more meaningful change? Maybe you need to revisit that change. It might be time.
  3. Are you picking a fight with someone else’s goals for you? Sometimes failure to reach a goal may be a way of exerting control. Consider carefully if a goal that is really good for you is the smart place to dig in and take a stand for independence…maybe your healthy libertarian streak would be better served taking a stand somewhere else, than resisting making a change that is medically advisable or spiritually essential.

Hoping to chime in often with short, sweet and psychologically healthy changes to make 2016 a great year!

Dr. Lori Puterbaugh

© 2016

Posts are for information and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to be therapeutic advice. If you are in need of mental health assistance, please contact a licensed professional in your area.

 

Fun with Happiness

We went to Mt. Dora, FL for a couple of days’ getaway and had visited the wonderful used-and-new book store, Barrel of Books and Games, twice before 24 hours passed. I have been devouring the insightful and fun, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. So many take-aways, starting with (for her) “Be Gretchen.” In other words, don’t try to force yourself to be happy by being/doing/pursuing what makes other people happy. Sounds obvious, but trust me, from this side of the therapy couch, that’s not what usually happens. Most people are not busy being themselves, they are miserably plodding away trying to be someone else. They run, or spin, or meditate, or work longer hours, because other people claim it makes them happier. It might not be making the person in question happier, but darn it, it’s supposed to…so there they go.

Today I was being myself. I went for a walk, went to church, and, having the morning “off” before an afternoon and evening seeing clients, had fun writing the bulk of an article on family therapy and national politics (yeah, that’s hard to explain – a post for another day), working on a large graphite still life, and picking out clothes to donate. My husband asked me, “Weren’t you going to kick back this morning?” Well, I was kicking back…being me. Someone else has her version of a chilled-out morning, and I have mine.

When you are being you, what’s different?

How much time today did you spend being someone else?

 

Dr. Lori Puterbaugh

© 2015

Posts are for information and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to be therapeutic advice. If you are in need of mental health assistance, please contact a licensed professional in your area.